Women often grumble about the inventory of single men saying, "There are no good men available." Well new evidence is in and it’s quite the contrary. I spoke with eight single men in their 40’s who are members of a local dating service. What an eye opener! We spent an hour together discussing their surprising dating experiences. Hold onto your hats ladies because this is a shocker!

Who Are these Good Guys?

The group varied, but were all very datable. Highlights include: Career: teacher, electrician, IT consultant, insurance underwriter, mechanic. Looks: 5'7" to over 6 feet; athletic to huggable; dark brown or salt and pepper hair to balding. Education: two masters degrees to trade school. Interests: cooking, biking, dancing, hiking, movies. Seems like a bunch of regular guys.

Men Do Want Honesty and Monogamy

Overall, the men expressed a sincere desire to find a loving relationship. Monogamy is a must and honesty is a primary concern. Most want a partner who is close in age (plus or minus 5 years.) Surprised? These men want exactly the same thing that most women want. So what’s the problem? Here’s what the guys had to say about dating:

Women Won't Give Men a Chance

The number one biggest issue men have with women today is that the fairer sex just won’t give them a chance. More often than not, the ladies they select from the dating service either say no without as much as a phone conversation or don’t respond to the request at all. As a result, the men feel bewildered, baffled, and very frustrated by this high level of rejection and don’t understand why women paid good money for a service they don’t take full advantage of.

Men feel women's unwillingness to connect is because they are simply too picky and looking for a level of perfection that’s unrealistic. The fellows worry that they're too short, not fit enough, losing hair, don't have a status job, the right education, or make enough money. Hmmm, could they be right?

Look Past Looks

What fascinated me most is that the men complain about the very same thing that women complain about men! Women whine that men select or reject them based on looks alone rather than taking the time to get to know them. The truth is that selecting a potential partner based solely on physical attraction represents a trap to which both sexes often succumb. This is why most matchmakers don't use pictures with clients, insisting instead that they meet in person. Attraction is important to a good relationship, but is perfection necessary?

Missing the Boat on the Good Guys

All of this begs the question: What is the cost of turning men away based on superficial qualities? Seems like it might be pretty steep. Could be a lot of women are missing the boat on the "Good Guys" because they won't even put a toe in the water to meet them. It's certainly something to think about. Of course, you must find a man attractive, but how important should looks be and how much job status is required?

Expand Your Datable Criteria

When you think about the qualities you want in a partner, what comes first; fitness or a warm heart? A high-powered career or good communication skills? Education or honesty? In this day and age, when women are fiercely independent and self-sufficient, do you really need his financial status or emotional support and friendship? Expanding your datable criteria opens the door for so many more possibilities. Before you dismiss a man because of his physique, hairline, or job, try stretching yourself to discover what's inside. Could he be worth a glass of wine, some light conversation, and 90 minutes of your time?

The bottom line on dating in the 21st century is — there really are lots of good men available. If you're looking for a loving partner, ease up on stringent standards and let a few more prospects pass inspection. Give the next guy who approaches you a chance. Say "Yes" to a man who may not be ideal, but could be a wonderful partner just the same. You have little to lose, but the upside could be finding the love you've been seeking all along.