The other night I was walking along the beach in the moon light, just at the water's edge and noticed a few odd bumps - that were moving! Turns out this is the time of year when horseshoe crabs mate. Very romantic. At first I thought - "Get a room!" How silly - they're just crabs doing what comes naturally.

So how is it that we humans encounter such difficulties in finding a good mate when it should be a completely natural process? It starts with being single in mid-life, a time when we have grown accustomed to our own ways of doing things. And we have baggage - love history from previous relationships gone wrong. All this and many other factors contribute to a vast adult single population who feels lonely and sometimes apathetic about even looking for love.

But let's think back to the crabs. For them, finding a mate seems so much simpler and easier. How do horseshoe crabs find each other attractive? Well they probably have far fewer "must haves" than we do. Or maybe they're just more open-minded. Hard to say.
The question is - can we learn from our frisky friends?

I believe we can and here are four perspectives about dating and potential partners that might help loosen up some of the strict criteria that actually keeps people single.

1. Friendly or Critical Thoughts?

When you see the opposite sex walking down the street, do you think critical thoughts or friendly thoughts? Who knows why human nature usually resorts to critical thinking, but chances are strong your heart is not open to those you pass by when you are critical. (Sometimes this is appropriate, but not always.) Try letting go of some criticism, and imagine what might make that person who passes by a good catch? This is a fantastic exercise that opens your heart and creates positive vibes - which by the way make YOU more attractive too.

2. Let Your Guard Down to Connect.

What if you relax and just try getting to know a few new people? Often people will surprise you if you give them a chance. Open up and allow a man or woman who is less than perfect into your world long enough to see if there is any merit, rather than shutting the door with a snap judgment. When you let your guard down a bit, connecting becomes more possible.

3. Think Well of Yourself.

It's been said many times, if you want to be treated with respect, respect yourself first. That's good advice. Take care of and treasure yourself. Get a new hair cut, buy some new clothes, eat well, walk with good posture; head up and shoulders back. Work on your self esteem to know you are worthy of love and a good relationship. Someone would be darn lucky to have you!

4. Keep Your Expectations in Check.

If a prospect doesn't work out, move on! The world is well populated with options for you, so don't cry too long over the one who got away. This is especially true when you've had a brief relationship or one that didn't quite materialize. Too often people get hung up in just being rejected at first email contact on dating sites. There are millions of people on those sites. Move on to someone better! It takes some effort to find the gems, but it's worth it.

Of course, there's no way to verify, but I do think horseshoe crabs live and mate by these guidelines. (I'm not sure how much thinking crabs do, just go with it. Hey. Maybe that's actually the best advice here anyway.) Animals are naturally open to opportunities, think positively, know they are worthy and move on when rejected to find a better partner. Give it a try and take advantage of this glorious weather and the best time of year to find your own mate. Chances are very good that you'll be happy you did.