Should you move in with your guy before he has slipped that diamond ring on your finger?
Will this mean he will never pop the question? Maybe you are thinking “why buy a book when you can join a library?” According to the latest research this is not the case.

Moving in with your long term boyfriend is a huge step and a major turning point in the relationship. Obviously, you would not be contemplating this issue if you were morally opposed or if it went against your religious beliefs. Most career men are of the opinion that a relationship will only progress so far if you are not living together.

There are many things you will only learn about someone by living under the same roof. No one gives out lessons on how to do this successfully, so you will just have to play it by ear. Use this as an opportunity to iron out all the wrinkles in the relationship before you make the ultimate commitment. Living together before marriage gives you the potential to experience the other’s habits, faults and funny little quirks. That endearing little quirk that you thought was so cute on a sporadic basis may drive you to distraction when faced with it daily. As a couple, you will be able to see how well you can make compromises in the all important issues of domestic duties and finances.

For a career guy, moving in with a girl is a gigantic step. He is contemplating getting engaged. If living with you goes as well as he hopes, he has already decided to purchase an engagement ring. Moving in with a girl is a big deal for a guy. He is throwing away his little black book, sacrificing any opportunities to date other women, changing his routine, and giving up a lot of his independence. Professional men see this as moving their relationship to another level and will only do this if they see the girl as being special enough. Drastic lifestyle changes will only be undertaken for a woman perceived to be marriage material.

Once you have moved in together, your guy will become quite anxious for a little while. He is feeling that his independence is under threat. He will be looking for any major conflicts. He no longer has the freedom that he had before, and for a lot of men this is a terrifying concept. You should allow him to have some time out to himself. The less threatened he feels. the closer he will become to you. A man has to be able to feel that he can be left alone when he wants to be. Giving a man space when he needs it, is perceived as being a terribly important trait for a wife.

When you shouldn’t move in together:

You should only move in with your boyfriend if you have been in a long term relationship together, and you feel that you are headed for matrimony. You should never move in together just so that you can save on rent or because one of you has had a flatmate run off. If your boyfriend is only talking about moving in together, in terms of convenience, then don’t do it. He is only seeing you as a flat mate he can sleep with. Do not move in with him too early on in the relationship. The formula seems to be to date for about 1 year and then think about living together.

You should talk to your boyfriend about your expectations of the relationship before you move in with him. You should probably be expecting the diamond ring within a year of cohabiting together. However, be careful how you word your expectations as you don’t want it coming over as an ultimatum. You should have this conversation before you move in together, probably in the same talk where you both discuss where you see the relationship going long term.

Once you are sharing the love shack you should ease off on the commitment stuff for a while. Let him have a chance to adjust and relax. Your boyfriend knows that he has an obligation to you for a further commitment. Most guys will propose within 6-12 months of living together. If he hasn’t made any mention of it by the first anniversary, it is probably a good idea to have another talk about where the two of you are headed. Some guys will get complacent if the relationship is all just going along nicely. These fellows definitely need a prod forward. If after a year, your guy is not happy for a further commitment, you should think about leaving.

Yes, you can live together before marriage and still get that diamond solitaire. De facto relationships are important for professional men to ascertain that you really are Mrs. Right.
Career guys will only move to this level in their relationship if they are contemplating popping the question. By using this living together advice, you will be increasing your chances of getting engaged. A diamond is forever.

Good Luck, Coco Swan.