Well - are you ready to start dating? This may apply to whether you have been dating or are new to dating again after a long-term relationship. “Of course I am”, you may say, but it is surprising how many people I talk to who say they are ready but when we dig a bit deeper all kinds of dating/relationship/life issues surface. How about the lady who said she was ready but there was a certain man who had been around in the background for 11 years? Or the woman who likewise is ready but never has the time even to go to the hairdressers or check her bank statement because of the hours she works?

What gets in the way of successful dating?

So much can get in the way of being ready to date successfully and find a relationship. These are a few of the things that are common:-

• Still holding emotional baggage from previous relationships

• Being in the middle of legal chaos

• Working such long hours that you can’t find the time

• Over -commitment to family

• People in your life who hold you back

• Not knowing what you really want in a relationship

Wherever you may be, it is important that you give yourself a dating/relationship road check. By that I mean looking at all areas of your life so that you are clear what you need to handle before you could possibly start getting into a relationship. This may sound trite but to be successful in relationships you need to find a way to be successful in life. Relationships are not an isolated part of our lives but a reflection of how we live our lives in general. If your life is in balance it is much more possible that you will be able to find, and build upon, a successful relationship.

Building a Life That is Ready for Relationship

I just mentioned a relationship road-check. If you are going to be ready to go on the ‘road’ so to speak what needs to be in place? These are some areas that I suggest you look at:-

• Physical/emotional health

• Work/career

• Lifestyle

• Money

• Family

• Friends

• Environment – home etc.

• Relationships

What you need to do is to first honestly summarise where you are in all these areas. Secondly take a look at what you might need to do to resolve any or all of the issues that are currently outstanding. If for instance under “friendship” you realise that the people you mostly socialise with are only interested in going to bars & getting drunk and you have had enough of this. You need to find people who want to do the kinds of things that you would find interesting and satisfying. Your working life is less than satisfying, how can you turn this round? Remember small steps can make a big difference and I am not talking about doing this overnight. It is not a makeover programme but a life programme. It’s about getting more focused and into action on your own behalf.

Now Get Ready for Dating and Relationship

Now you have a plan for handling some areas of your life that need attention you can also look at where you are in terms of dating and relationship. The old saying “success breeds success” may be very annoying when your life does not resemble anything like success. Just a pause here to note that success is whatever success means for you not what others might judge to be success. I can assure you that when you begin to take the steps towards becoming more successful in one area of your life there are knock on effects that impact on other areas.

Without doubt you will begin to show up differently to those around you. Those friends who held you back or not even knowing how much you have in the bank can be a thing of the past. This is about standing up and taking responsibility for your life so that you can take responsibility for the successful relationship that you really want. Take one step at a time making sure that all the steps are going in the same direction and you will realise that you can get your life moving on the relationship road.