Women ask me all the time whether or not they should pay for dates. It's a big source of confusion because most women make their own money and want to be treated as equals. We're not children.

So who pays?

The man pays for the first date.

While I was single, I made the mistake of paying for first dates. I had my own money and thought it was only fair to kick in. I never saw any of those guys again. Why? Because I confused them. When a woman offers to pay for a first date, a guy may take it as code for, "This has been very nice, but let's be friends."

So let the guy pay the first time. Letting him pay gives you a window into his character, too:

-Does he steer you toward the cheapest items on the menu?

-Does he expect sex as a thank-you for the meal? (Yes? Then give him a hearty handshake and tell him goodnight.)

-Is he overly extravagant? Does he spend too much money in a desperate attempt to impress you?

If you decide you like the guy enough to see him again, wait until he finishes paying. Then look him squarely in the eye. Smile sincerely and say, "I had a great time. Thank you for dinner. What do you say I get it next time?"

Men complain that certain women expect them to always foot the bill, and you've just shown this guy you're not one of them.

You've also established that you like him, but you've left the ball in his court. He'll either call you, or he won't (because you definitely will not call him). If he makes the right move and calls you, suggest a place or an activity within your budget.

Then pick up the check. He can get it the next time!