Since we live in an information age that is active
twenty four hours a day and seven days a week, it's easy to get
overwhelmed by the countless options and decisions we are confronted
with on a regular basis. Nowhere is this more apparent than dating.
Relationships
between men and women have crossed a whole new threshold. Factor in
some of the newer innovations like internet and speed dating and it
becomes clear the possibilities seem almost endless. But times cannot
change what many of us feel before, during and after a date. In spite
of knowing the other person for quite some time, being comfortable with
them in a different environment and getting an enthusiastic yes when
you ask them for a date, it still does not stop your nerves from giving
you plenty of grief.
A big part of being nervous is of course you
want the date to go right. Carefully planning a date and then watching
it fall apart before your eyes is a nightmare we all dread. No question
if you have ever experienced this, there is a little voice of doubt
saying, "Here we go again.One other explanation is lack of
self-assurance. You may not have experienced a bad date or this may
even be your first date but you still feel shaky. For some reason it
always seems like the equivalent of having to do a public speaking
engagement in front of a tough audience.
It is not to that
extreme but it can feel like you are auditioning and in a way you are.
You are selling the product known as you and hope the prospective buyer
(your date) like what they see and hear. If they so no then you are
faced with rejection which no matter how you look at it can be very
painful. All of us want to be wanted. It is easy to understand why
anyone who has ever been rejected would be reluctant to try again. No
is a simple word that packs a terrific punch that can shake anyone to
the core.
So what's the alternative? Not to date anyone and in
the long run that's far worst. Never giving a relationship a chance
because your nerves just could not stand anything unconstructive can do
more damage than experiencing rejection. Does rejection hurt? Yes but
it doesn't mean that your world will come to an end. Just keep in mind
that if they reject you then it is their loss.
Your date is not
on a pedestal. While you definitely want your date to accept you there
is no reason to beg for it. It is all about give and take and realizing
both of you are on the same level. Be confident in what you have to
offer the other person. If they accept, then that is something to build
on, if not then wish them well and keep looking for the person that is
more in tune to your frequency; they do exist.
Accept the fact
that a certain amount of nervousness is going to exist and in some ways
can keep you focused on the task at hand. Do all you can to guarantee
it does not take over the date. Relax and expect that you and your date
will have a good time. With that mindset you will.