My husband works with two guys whose girlfriends continually check their cell phones for evidence of communication with other women.

He has another friend--a man I know well--whose wife regularly checks his cell phone to see if he's cheating (he would never). The guys at work have complained to my husband about this surveillance,
and they've asked his advice.

His first question was, "Are you cheating?"

Each fellow replied, "Absolutely not."

My husband told the single guys, "These situations don't usually improve with time. You might want to reconsider the relationship."

As for the married friend whose wife monitors his activities, well, can't tell you how many times he's walked into his kitchen to find her going through his call list, muttering, "Who the hell is Mary Smith!" (She's usually a woman from one of the offices he visits in the course of his job.)

Interestingly, a lot of guys who cheat don't even use their 'regular' cell phones; they get a second one. This woman is really wasting her time.

The sad thing is, her husband loves her. He's loyal to her. She is destroying their relationship with her lack of trust. The idea of leaving her has crossed his mind.

Face it: falling--and being--in love can be scary. You're putting your happiness and emotional well-being in the hands of another person. But relationships require trust.

Perhaps these women feel compelled to surveil their partners because  other men have hurt them, or because they've seen too much infidelity on TV. It doesn't matter. It's self-destructive.

Determine whether you can trust a guy based on his behavior. Do his words match his actions, for example? Does he lie (to you, to his  parents, his sister, his boss)?

If the guy's a liar, you'll find out without resorting to extreme methods.

Liars do not make good boyfriends (or husbands). If you make it a policy not to date them, you will sleep well and your fingernails will grow long and strong.