Dating advice for gays and lesbians isn’t that much different from dating advice for anyone else. After all, everyone is looking for a date or partner they are compatible with who will show mutual respect and affection. It can be more difficult, however, to know how to proceed since there are nuances and potential problems that are unique to dating when you are homosexual. I’ve put together some practical dating advice for gays and lesbians that apply to a variety of situations.

Come Out of the Closet

If the person you’re attracted to is already a friend, you can deal with it honestly and be straight-forward. Simply admit that you’re attracted to him or her, and have been wondering if they feel the same way. If they are, make plans to get together on an official date. If they say they don’t really think of you that way, be gracious and willing to continue being friends.

Great Places to Meet

Check out gay and lesbian bookstores and clothing stores in your area. You may meet someone terrific, and you can ask knowledgeable staff where some of the hot spots are in the area. Also be sure to check out the bulletin boards at bookstores – these will often list special events that can be a great place to meet people.

Look for the Pink Pages

This is a locally published list or newsletter in most larger cities that list events, clubs, bars, etc. that cater to gays and lesbians. Try visiting a few new spots each week – you’ll meet plenty of new friends even if you don’t find romance.

Check Out Some Courses at Your Local College

Most schools now offer several courses listed under something like “Gay and Lesbian Studies.” Signing up for a few classes will not only broaden your intellectual horizons, it will give you a great way to start conversations with fellow class members.

Consider Activism

Groups promoting gay and lesbian rights are filled with intelligent, interesting people who tend to be social and multi-faceted. By doing more for the gay and lesbian community, you’ll naturally meet more members of it.

Always Look Your Best

This sounds trite, but it’s usually when you’re not looking that you stumble onto meeting someone terrific! The key to this is keeping your mind open to unexpected opportunities. All other dating advice for gays and lesbians is beside the point if you aren’t open to the possibilities when an unexpected opportunity arrives.

Consider Dating Outside Your “Type”

If you focus only on trying to find your dream date (tall, dark hair, with a specific look, for instance), you might miss the opportunity to get to know someone incredible. Don’t automatically think that someone is too butch, too femme or too this or that. Go out a few times and you may surprise yourself. If not, remain friends and you’ll both be able to introduce each other to friends.

Consider Internet Dating

If you are comfortable with the idea, consider Internet dating. There are dozens of sites giving dating advice and opportunities to meet gay and lesbians. These range from racy ones for quick, physical relationships to matchmaking services geared specifically to professionals looking for a life-long commitment. If you do decide to try one of these services, be sure you’re aware of some of the more common acronyms used:

• ALT – alternative lifestyle


• BDSM – bondage, dominance and sadomasochism


• Bear – a bearded man


• BiF – bisexual female


• BiM – bisexual male


• CD – cross-dresser


• DDF – drug and disease free


• FTM – female to male transsexual


• MTF – male to female transsexual


• POS – HIV+


• FEMS – a gay male who leans to the feminine side

As you can tell, dating advice for gays and lesbians is about being open to all possibilities and treating others with respect. It’s good advice for anyone looking for a relationship, and will give you the opportunity to make some friends along the way.