Did you ever date a guy who you had a great time with and saw weekly, but for some reason, never on the weekends?
What's up with that?
I met this guy at a singles dance. Very attractive, kind of macho even. Sort of a bad boy still at 40. You know the kind of guy. We caught each other's eyes as I walked to the ladies room. On the way out, he struck up a conversation. Hmmm. Very interesting as I remember.
He asked me to dance. Great dancer. Wow a man who seems sure of himself. We danced a few times. Walked over to s table and talked a while. He asked for my number, then leaned down to give me a kiss on the cheek. Who is this guy?
Yeah, he called in a couple of days and asked me out to dinner. Friday night came and we had our date. An amusing fellow, I was intrigued, curious, taken in by his European good looks, charm, and accent.
After that night, he called me and we went out several more times. When I was with him, I felt the most alluring I had ever felt in my entire life. We definitely had that steamy chemistry women always talk about, drool over.
Yet, at the same time, I started to feel confused. After our first date, we never saw each other again on a weekend night. Monday, Tuesday, Thursday - sure. Maybe even a Sunday afternoon. But never another Friday or Saturday night. What could this possibly be about? I had no idea.
I started to ask around. Did anyone have an explanation for this strange behavior? Nope,, not a one. Not a single girlfriend could figure it out. So one night I decided to just ask him. "Hey Romeo," I said (OK not his real name, but he was the most romantic man I had ever dated) "How come we never get together on weekend nights?"
I know this will shock you , but he actually answered me. He said, "I have to see my girlfriend sometime." Like the needle being pulled across an old vinyl reocrd making a deep scratch - that's how that answer registered with me. I said, "What? What did you say?" Romeo responded with a nonchalant air, "I have a girlfriend for two years now. I see other women, but not on the weekends."
If I hadn't heard this directly from the horse's mouth, would I have believed it? He said that with a straight face.
That was the end of Romeo. But this episode spawned an eye-opening look into "Men's World" and how some men, not all by any means, think. If you're dating a guy who doesn't have time of the weekends for you, TRUST ME, something is not right. Take this advice from my personal experience and as a dating coach. Be brave and ask him about it to see what kind of answer he provides.
He may change the subject, skirt the issue, have a standard answer or make something up. Regardless of the words that come out of his mouth, if he's uncomfortable delivering the answer - you know something is not right. Watch body language and especially eye contact. Did he look right at you when he answered? Did he turn away? You know the signs of a liar - so pay attention to details of his response.
If you're in casual dating mode and don't mind sharing the guy, then no big deal. But if you're hoping to move toward a long-term relationship, my advice is that Mr. No-Weekends is probably not your man.