Online dating advice is easy to give, but I’ve been
amazed by how quickly most people forget the basic rules. I’ve been
giving free online dating advice because I have two objectives – to
make sure you are successful with your online dating, and to make sure
you stay safe.
Below I’ve summarized my online dating advice in a
handy list. Keep it close to your computer! If you follow these tips,
you’ll discover that your Internet dating experience will be more
fruitful and you’ll be safer.
Write a Profile that’s the Right Length
Too
short (just a few sentences) and most people will think you didn’t put
serious thought into it; too long, and they may not read to the end.
Three paragraphs is a good length if you create an interesting snapshot
of who you are. Mention some of your interests and past times.
Observations such as “I’d love to travel to Europe sometime, but for
now Italian restaurants give me a taste of what’s to come,” show that
you’re interesting and have a sense of humor.
Don’t Reveal Personal Details
Never
give away personal data like your last name, where you live or even
where you work in your profile. It’s too easy for someone to find you.
While most people online are well-adjusted individuals, you can never
be too careful. Until you know someone very well, don’t tell them more
than they need to know. This is probably the most important online
dating advice and safety tip of all – meet someone for the first time
in a public place. There’s no leeway on this one – it provides you an
“out” if you need it.
Posting Your Photo
And
consider this online dating advice: photos are the downfall of many
people. One of the most common mistakes is posting a bad photo. You
don’t have to have a formal portrait done, but you should make sure the
photo is a clear, close-up shot without others in the picture. Don’t
post a photo you obviously took of yourself with your computer cam late
at night. Also don’t post photos where your ex was obviously cut out of
the picture.
Please, Please don’t Grovel
I’ve read
hundreds of profiles that have phrases like, “no games – I’ve had
enough of them,” or “broken heart needs healed.” This kind of stuff
smacks of emotional baggage – something no one wants to start a
relationship having to cope with.
Keep Your Initial Emails Friendly and Upbeat
No
complaints about past relationships or how lonely you are. Instead,
make sure the other person sees you as someone who is complete and
happy already. If they understand that you want to add someone special
to an already fulfilling life, they will be drawn to you as someone who
can enhance their own life.
Be Honest about Yourself
Don’t
forget this important online dating advice. Fudging the facts on
income, what you do for a living or what you like to do, you’ll only
dig yourself into a hole. At some point the truth will come out, and
you’ll have way too much explaining to do.
Be Truthful about What You’re Looking For
If
you want a serious relationship, be honest so that you don’t get
involved with someone who is only looking for something casual. You’ll
get hurt and have wasted your own time and theirs. The same goes for
the opposite scenario – don’t lead someone on if you know they’re
looking for true love but you just want someone to hang out with for a
few months.
Pick Up on the Other Person’s Cues
As
you move on to exchanging your actual email addresses or phone numbers,
be sure to pick up on the other person’s cues. If he or she emails or
calls and you have a great chat – wonderful! Agree at the end of the
conversation when you’d like to talk again and stick with it. Don’t
blow them off – a sure sign you aren’t reliable. On the other hand,
don’t call earlier or email too often – clinging like that is a
definite turn-off during what should be a cautious phase.
Do Your Homework
There
are hundreds of dating websites available, and many sites cater to
specific groups. If you want a Christian-based relationship, consider a
Christian online dating site. If you are looking for something that’s
purely physical, there are sites that focus on that as well. Don’t just
randomly pick a site. You may discover that it has lots of members, but
not many who have anything in common with you.
Finally, don’t
give up. The best online dating advice I can give is to be patient and
try a few different online dating services. It may take some time to
find the right person, but along the way you can make some great
friends and have some fun.